The Assault of the Perverted Obaasan
by Taka and Keichirou
Summary: a new perverted fic by keichirou hideki involving his favourite red head and a surprise guest who is as perverted as he is!


Title: The assault of the perverted obaa-san  
  
Author: Keichiro Hideki Rating: PG Genre: Humor/Hentai-ness/Romance/More hentai-ness Pairing: RuHana, SenHana Author's Notes: The author would like to caution the readers to beware of extreme OOC-ness. So. what do you think Taka-kun?  
  
A brief cool breeze swept past a tall redhead swaggering briskly across the sidewalk, ruffling the fiery-red curls. A particularly stubborn stray strand of lock dance happily with the passing breeze before quietly settling into the redhead's eye, quite an excruciatingly annoying experience really. imagine yourself suddenly feeling a foreign object somehow getting embedded into your eye for example an eyelash. It would take several precious minutes to get that darn thing out of your eye wouldn't it. Oops, I digress. Back to the redhead.  
  
Sakuragi Hanamichi let out a stream of profanities, enough to make even the most foul-mouthed sailor cringe, as he impatiently brush back the silky lock before tucking it behind an ear to curb its naughty ways. Mission accomplished. However, that was not the end as a stray worn hat, which had tumbled off some poor guys head as a result of the rather strong breeze, suddenly whopped Sakuragi quite spectacularly on the face causing him to lurch backwards and thus causing him to slip on a banana peel which conveniently just happen to be lying innocently on the sidewalk near the redhead. Somewhere down there, a cheeky little Satan's Imp cackles happily at another fallen victim as he jiggles about in the fiery depths of the place-that-will-not-be-named.  
  
Sakuragi cursed again, together with several rude hand gestures as he painstakingly stood up from his previous sprawled spread-eagled position, a position causing many erotic fantasies to swim through a kind, sweet- looking obaa-san's head who had paused to help the fallen youth. we shall temporarily ignore the obaa-san's ulterior (and perverted) motives for helping the oblivious redhead.  
  
"Arigato oba-saan," Sakuragi graciously thanked the kind obaa-san and generously bestowed upon the dazzled obaa-san a brilliant white smile, his pearly whites almost blinding the near-sighted obaa-san.  
  
The obaa-san twittered in a very disturbed manner and helpfully brushed the dirt and decomposing leaves from the redhead's back and bottom, twittering all the while. However, unbeknownst to the naïve. extremely naïve youth. the obaa-san was actually trying to crop a feel in the pretence of brushing away the dirt.  
  
"Are you alright now dear boy?" The obaa-san asked in a nasally sort of voice as her wizened claws (fingers?) lingered on Sakuragi's bottom for a tad too long for the poor youth's comfort. He slowly tried to edged away but failed when the hand on his bottom, squeezed knowingly.  
  
Innocent honey-brown eyes widened when he felt a discreet pinch on his bottom as the obaa-san gave him a wide gapped tooth smile, her false dentures glaringly visible at this close distance.  
  
"You poor dear," The obaa-san's eyes glinted, "Would you like to come to my place and have a cup of lemonade?" She patted Sakuragi's bottom and twittered again before waggling her white eyebrows suggestively.  
  
Sakuragi gulped and shook his head furiously. He profusely thanked the old lady once again before fleeing in a red blur, leaving a trail of dust in the air.  
  
The obaa-san just cackled happily, "Must be my lucky day." She uttered with delight as she tottered away, never to be seen again. much to Sakuragi's future relief. or so he thought.  
  
~  
  
"There, there." A spiky-haired basketball player crooned gently as a whimpering redhead huddled pitifully against the other's firm chest. Sendoh Akira stifled a grin threatening to emerge on his full lips as he lifted a hand to slowly stroke the redhead's back, the other clutching the redhead's slim waist possessively, "Poor Hana-kun. don't worry. there aren't any perverted obaa-saans here to molest you Hana-kun." The hand on Sakuragi's back continue to stroke the oblivious redhead comfortingly.  
  
Hehe. Sendoh giggled inwardly as his hand stealthily crept towards the hem of Sakuragi's white shirt to caress the soft skin.  
  
Sakuragi Hanamichi lifted his head and sniffed as he stared up into heavenly midnight-blue orbs, oblivious to the straying fingers now softly drawing circles on the redhead's back. Sendoh almost melted at the sight of those beautiful honey-brown eyes sparkling with tears.  
  
"Honto.?" Sakuragi murmured, almost hypnotized as Sendoh's face inched closer. closer still. closer.  
  
SMACK!  
  
A basketball had suddenly appeared seemingly out of nowhere to whop Sendoh on the back of his head. Sendoh promptly fell to the ground where he lay unmoving, the spikes on his head eerily intact, even after that vicious hit to the head. makes you wonder doesn't it?  
  
A tall figure stepped out from the shadows, cold sapphire-blue orbs peered from behind the silky ebony curtain to eye the redhead hungrily. Rukawa Kaede stalked towards the redhead and stopped, their bodies mere inches away from each other. Silence reigned between them for several seconds with the exception of birds trilling excitedly at the show they're about to witness and the wheezy sound of air being let out from the punctured basketball as it quickly deflates. Imagine that. Sendoh's spikes were strangely sharp enough to puncture the tough leathery hide of the basketball. or rather. what remains of the basketball.  
  
Sakuragi gaped as Rukawa unceremoniously kicked the unconscious figure on the ground away from the redhead before stepping even closer, their lips mere inches apart. Sakuragi continues to gape with wonder as the resident ice Prince of Shohoku a.k.a Sleeping Beauty or baka kitsune dubbed thee truly by our redhead, gently cupped Sakuragi's smooth cheek with a pale hand. Rukawa then smiled slightly, an astonishing phenomenon really, and traced the soft bottom lip of the redhead sensually with a callused thumb from years of playing basketball.  
  
"Do'aho." Rukawa whispered as he pressed his forehead against the other, his cool breath mingling with the redhead's warm breath. Rukawa's other arm snaked about Sakuragi's waist as he tilted his head to the side to press his lips against Sakuragi.  
  
Sakuragi whimpered as the gentle, almost chaste kiss turns fierce. Rukawa's warm tongue brushed against Sakuragi's, demanding entry into the redhead's hot cavern. Sakuragi happily obliged and wrapped his arms around the brunette's neck. Panting harshly, Rukawa pulled away, blue eyes burning feverishly with desire. A predatory smile crept across the brunette's face as he whispered hotly into Sakuragi's ear after nibbling teasingly on the earlobe making the redhead moan.  
  
"Lets go home do'aho."  
  
Sendoh however was left lying on the ground, alone and defenseless. A disturbing twitter broke the silence as a sweet-looking obaa-san tottered towards the unconscious spiky-haired youth. The obaa-san just bent and grabbed the brunette's feet and pulled him away, preferably to a more private place, like her apartment.  
  
~  
  
Owari 


End file.
